Epilogue

As my career as an ESL/EFL teacher winds down (fingers crossed), I want to take some time to evaluate this whole experience.

Words that I associate with my time as an English teacher: easy work... fun... perfect for me... good money... ummm... unfulfilled... obnoxious kids... broken English... stuck in Korea... AMBIVALENCE.

Perhaps that last word offers the perfect summary. English teaching (particularly in Korea) offered me so many positives over the past twelve years that I ought to be thanking my lucky stars for the experience. Well, in fact, I do. This has been good for me on so many levels that I couldn't possibly regret it, ever. I met my wife here. I made more money than I ever did (thus far) in Canada. I've met so many interesting people here - expats, especially -- that I was inspired to think about telling stories, which led to this blog, and then to my upcoming experience as a student at Vancouver Film School. I travelled to a number of countries in the Far East. No, there is no way that I could regret the choice I made to come to Korea and teach English.

But I can't ignore the reality, which is that I get no fulfillment anymore out of my job. For a number of reasons, I am able to do this job now without putting any thought into it. I basically show up, do the same lesson I've done for the past five years, watch students ignore me, try to get their attention, yell at them, throw up my arms, and ultimately say to myself, "There has to be more to life than this."

I tend to believe that teaching English in Korea is a scam. Yes, that's the negative part of me, no doubt. However, there is truth to it, for the fact is that language schools exploit the fears of parents that their child will fall behind. You really have to live in Korea to understand this phenomenon, for I'm not sure it exists to such a degree anywhere else in the world. And so what? Is it really my concern how Korean parents spend their money and force their unwilling children to study a language that a majority of them dislike? I guess if I accept my employer's money, then I ought to just shut up and do the job.

But then I think about my own goals, my own self-worth. If I dislike my job in spite of the good pay and the easy hours, shouldn't I just move on for my own sake as well as the sake of the kids whom I teach? Yeah, probably I should.

So now I get ready to move on. In April, I will leave my job at JLS and return to Canada to attend school for a year. But part of me will remain attached to Korea. There's no escaping it, not when you've spent as much time as I have in another country. Just the other day, I spoke on the telephone with a former JLS colleague, Kristine, who went back to Canada last year. She's studying to become a "real" teacher. When I asked her how she was enjoying being back home, she admitted that she was having a difficult time readjusting. And I knew exactly what she meant. She had spent about three years in Korea, and she's still getting used to the Canadian way of life once again. What will it be like for me? Will I find the good life back home, with my Korean wife and kids?

Or might I some day consider the possibility of returning to Korea to teach English?

God, I hope not. And I don't mean that like I would absolutely hate it. No, I just want to move on. I don't think being an English teacher is meant to be a life-long profession. It served its purpose, and most of the best things in life that happened to me happened because I was here. But I still hope to make it some day in Canada.

*****

What, ultimately, have I learned about myself from this experience? I think I've learned that, in life, it is worthwhile to do something that you want to do, even if it means giving up a certain amount of security. The people from your hometown or home country have probably chosen to stay where they are because it is what they know, and it brings a level of comfort for them. Expats, however, love to experience a lifestyle that involves getting a little uncomfortable. Moving to another country, especially one that is so culturally polar to your own, requires you to deal with issues of culture shock, including learning at least some of the new language and customs. You also learn to deal with discrimination to a certain extent because you are the visible minority. I'm hoping that such experiences allow me to be a better person than I was when I first came to Korea.

With such thoughts in mind, now I give up my current level of security to take on a new challenge: career change. I will spend a year at Vancouver Film School in the Writing for Film, TV, and Interactive Media program, hoping to utilize my experiences overseas as a basis for a writing career. Yes, it'll be a period of adjustment, but it is what I want to do at this point in my life. And I'm willing to take that chance.

*****

It gives me satisfaction to know that I have nearly completed what I started almost one year ago. I have documented twelve years of my life. Who is my intended audience? Maybe it's just my family, for I want my kids to know what my life was about during the period that I spent in Korea.

I could also see my friends in Korea reading the stories and remembering the times we shared. Perhaps even people who have taught English elsewhere in the world could enjoy these memoirs. But I'll admit, this is a personal experience, first and foremost. When I'm 70 years old, I want to be able to look back at these words, pictures, and videos, and remember this very special time in my life.