Best Memories of ULI

Obviously, the single best memory of my year at ULI was meeting Heather, who would later become my wife. But a little disclosure here: I did something pretty bad along the way. At the time that Heather and I started seeing each other, I already had a girlfriend in Canada. I'm not going to get into the long story of what happened, or why. Suffice it to say, I'm not proud that I hurt Miriam. It was a shitty thing to do to her, and she was justifiably pissed at me. Nevertheless, I know that I made the right choice with Heather. We seem to be just perfect for each other, and eight-plus years of marriage and two children seem to validate my belief.

At ULI, one of the interesting events we held was a Halloween party. Instead of teaching classes as scheduled, the English teachers got together and organized a big, multi-room bash with music and even alcohol. The alcohol part probably shouldn't have happened, but we sure had fun that night. I don't think the Japanese and Chinese teachers had much fun, though. They chose not to participate, instead opting to teach as scheduled, even with all the noise blaring from our rooms. Ha ha! Later that year, we also had a Christmas party.

Two of my favourite people from the ULI days were Rick and Brian. They were close friends, and I had great times with them, whether it was bowling, shooting pool, or talking about movies (Rick) or cars (Brian). Rick demonstrated how part of being a successful ESL teacher is telling stories. Students really ate up his stories of travelling to other countries -- in fact, I vividly remember the night he had just returned from trekking through the jungle in Thailand. He still hadn't even shaved, but he came to the school and visited my class. Since my lesson was boring, I asked him if he'd like to talk about his vacation. He came right in and started telling amazing tales, which may or may not have been embellished, but it was far more interesting for my students than doing American Compass or whatever text we were using at the time. And I learned first hand the value of using my own experiences as part of teaching ESL. After all, students seem to enjoy learning about their teachers.

Brian, meanwhile, taught me about the value of caring about teaching. He was a conscientious teacher, and I remember watching him almost berating himself one time for a lesson that he said "sucked." Today, Brian is a "real" teacher back in Canada, with a wife and a son. Genuinely one of the nicest guys I've ever met, and one of Heather's favourite expats. And he attended both our Korean and Canadian weddings. What more can I say about him? Well... he did have some quirks. Liked to sleep in the cheapest place he could find (a gosiwon - a closet with enough space to sleep on the floor). And he usually ate tuna and dubu (tofu), in an effort to save money. Otherwise, he was all right.

If I have one other fond memory of my year at ULI, it was playing pool every Friday night with Heather and the boys. I loved billiards in those days, and I became a decent player.

Actually, there is one more good memory from that year. It was the last time that I was truly thin. By the time I had returned to Canada, I think I was close to 150 pounds. Felt real good in those days. Was still just 24 years old.

I had a great girlfriend, too, although the future of our relationship was unsettled at the time. On my final night in Korea, we went to a night club at the Shilla Hotel. It was a strange night, because neither of us was sure that we would see each other again. At one point, Heather said she had a surprise for me. Immediately, my hopes were raised that she had decided to come with me to Canada. I was even willing to buy a plane ticket for her. That wasn't what she was telling me, however. In fact, I can't remember what she told me, because... and this is something I've never made public before... the Michael Jackson song "You Are Not Alone" started to play. And then I began to cry, because it felt like I was saying those words to her, or maybe she was saying them to me:

You are not alone
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
You are not alone

And, amazingly, whenever I hear that song, I start to cry. It always reminds me of that night when we both thought it might be over because I was leaving Korea. And it leaves no doubt in my mind that I made the right choice to go with Heather.

I think that was also the time I decided I would definitely be back in Korea in just a few months.